My first full day home unemployed and I didn't follow my ren sched. Of course, I really don't plan to put myself on the new schedule until I'm a full week unemployed. There's so much to do around the house. Everything needs to be perfect and pleasant. It's a creative block thing with me.
Plus, my day started early with doctor appointments. First was the perinatologist at 8 am, and then after my visit with her I was late for the obstetrician.
If I'd had any hope left that Clara's condition was misdiagnosed, today totally destroyed that. And I have to admit, even though I tried not to have that hope I did have that hope. I tell myself that I have accepted that my daughter will have Down syndrome, but now and then there will be that dream that pops up: It's the day she's born, and she's healthy and beautiful and she looks just like her brother--the doctor's and their tests were wrong and Clara doesn't possess extra chromosomes.
But after today, I know that the part of the dream where she doesn't have extra chromosomes won't be the case. It's interesting that I learn a lot more from the ultrasound technician than I do the perinatologist. Probably because we spend a good hour together looking in on Clara and discussing her measurements and movements (she's always very active during ultrasounds). Then the ultrasound technician leaves, and the doctor comes in to voice any concerns, which to this point, aside from the diagnosis itself, there have been no concerns. In that respect we are lucky. A Down syndrome baby can have all kinds of problems ranging from heart defects to intestinal obstructions. So far, Clara looks to be in the clear.
As the visit with the technician came to a close we reviewed all of the measurements she had taken. Since my last visit Clara was starting to fall behind on the growth charts. All measurements combined, she is now in the 25th percentile for 31 weeks, or a few days behind where she should be gestationally. However, her limbs fall even further behind, with her legs measuring at 28 weeks and her arms at 27 weeks. When I expressed my concern about her shortened arms the tech assured me that I wasn't going to notice when she was born. That really wasn't the point of my concern, but I couldn't tell her that it was how real it had just become. Not only does Clara have Ds, she will have the physical symptoms of Ds.
But I'm thankful she appears healthy. Now we start our weekly visits so they can more closely monitor her home stretch, just in case she finds she needs to come to the world a bit earlier. I do feel my little girl is in good hands.
In other news of the day, we finally got some snow. But, it has melted as quickly as it came down.
Also, I'm going to miss this laptop I'm currently using. It belongs to work and I need to return it and my iPhone this weekend. I won't miss the iPhone. I got a Samsung Galaxy S III.
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