Rare

"You know she's rare," I said.
"How's that?" Cxdy asked.
"She has 47 chromosomes."  I smiled as I looked at her cuddled in my arms.  "It's pretty amazing when you think about it," I continued.  "That extra chromosome can change so many things; It's pretty unpredictable.  Do you think it goes against nature?  Or do you think nature does this for a reason?"
"I don't know," Cxdy answered.  "I never thought about it.  I mean I think about it, but not like that."

I think about it a lot and in so many ways.  When I look at Clara, I can't see the trisomy 21.  She seems so normal to me.  When she's awake, she appears to be very alert and curious of her surroundings, and I have a difficult time believing she's going to be, or is already, intellectually challenged, though I know I need to accept it, and I think I have.

And I wonder what else that extra chromosome has in store for us.  We know that she has a hole in her heart between two chambers, but that's about the extent of my knowledge on her ASD.  She has an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist on the 14th and I've decided that it won't do any of us any good to do any worrying about it until we find out more.  If it was serious she wouldn't be home with us.

This morning her sister asked me if babies started crawling at 3 months.  I told her it was more like 7 months, but that we should expect it to happen later than that with Clara.  It feels odd to automatically lower your expectations of one child.   But, then I told myself that I need to look at it like I'm changing my expectations, not lowering them.  Clara is different.  That is all.  And to me she is still amazing.  That extra chromosome could sprout beautiful butterfly wings from Clara and I would be impressed, but not surprised.